DISCLAIMER: I'm awesome. You suck. Read on.
The 14th of February was a very important day for me.
Yes, it was.
One of the most momentous days of my life.
It was.. hold your breath, ladies and gentleman..
* Cue Drumroll *
A HUNDRED days since I've been single!
For those of you who didn't know I was single, its alright, it simply means your existence extends beyond a computer screen.
For those of you who never knew I was even dating, you've obviously not had the privilege of being in my facebook friend list, where you would have probably puked at the constant barrage of mushy, love infused stream of posts from my account, which, I've been told, were more frequent than Poonam Pandey's attempts to shed her clothes in front of the entire nation.
So anyways, In the last three months, a lot of people have come up to me and asked how it feels to be single after such a long time in a relationship.
You can judge how often I've been asked that by the simple fact that I've actually dedicated a blog post to answering that question for them.
Or maybe I wrote this because I have absolutely nothing to do and my life is less eventful than Preity Zinta's Bollywood career.
Well, here goes.
Probably the worst part about the entire breakup was the fact that the relationship had lasted over three and a half years.
This meant all of my friends, my family, most of my extended family, my mum's friends, my dad's friends and basically everyone I've ever come in contact with knew I'd been dating.
Every time I have a conversation with one of these people now, I'm asked about my girlfriend and have to go through the same conversation again and again, which is almost as much fun as listening to an Anu Malik song on repeat 35687542 times.
However, being single isn't all that bad, I can tell you. For the first time in th
ree years, I'm at a stage in life when I can put my hands in my pockets and ACTUALLY come out with money, as compared to before, when all I'd manage to come up with were bills, phone numbers, a watch and cards.
Or as Farhan Akhtar calls it, stuff he lost in the last seven days.
The most horrible thing I've realized over the last three months, is that without a girlfriend, my life is slowly, but surely heading towards extreme boredom.
I'm at a point now where a change in the college canteen menu has the potential to be the highlight of my day.
Something my mum used to complain about all the time was that I never spent enough time with the family cause I was always busy with my girlfriend.
Dear mom, time spent with the family is about as memorable as breaking news on India TV. Its pointless, its a waste of time and NOBODY CARES.
Hah, I kid you.
Family time is actually fun.
Sometimes, the four of us actually look up from our phones to ask questions like- 'Are we there yet?'.
'So now that you're single, you can finally focus properly on your studies, right?' asked a friend the other day.
Are you fucking kidding me? All it means is that I now have to think of a better excuse for failing.
Ah, the joys of being an Engineering student.
The worst part though, undoubtedly, has been the action. Or lack thereof.
Yes, my life now has as much action as a bollywood movie from the seventies.
Which basically means I shake a few flowers in front of my own face and pretend I kissed a girl.
On that sad note, I should probably stop writing any further.
However, I will take the time to wish a belated happy valentines day to all of you who read my blog!
Yes, all three of you!
I hope you were single yesterday, cause if you weren't, fuck you.
PS. I have so little to do in life, that I sat and recalculated the number of days. Apparently, it was ninety seven days, not hundred.
Well, I'm pretty sure I'll still get to hundred before Sachin does, right?
Wednesday, 15 February 2012
Saturday, 21 January 2012
Resolu-shunned
Resolutions. Something I take up in a random moment of madness, try to avoid and slip out of for a week, brag about for another few days and finally, complain about how they were too damn demanding in the first place.
Well, here they are, anyways.
The first and most obvious thing that came to my mind and probably anyone else who's read this space before, is booze.
I drink too much, I've been told by friends, classmates, random people who've read my blog, Twitter followers who I've never met, my ex girlfriend, my parents, my ex girlfriend's friends, that girl I drank with once, my sister, my cousin, my ex girlfriend's cousin, that guy I drank with once, a doctor in an Emergency Room at 3am (though technically, since I'd passed out, this one doesn't count), batch mates from school, my friend's mum, my mum's friend..
Well, you get the point, right?
But how does one resolve to drink less?
Someone suggested I start collecting something, to keep my mind occupied.
I liked the idea so much, you're all welcome to come view my collection of Beer bottle caps, as it continues to grow everyday.
At least I'm happy to say I've succeeded in reducing my binging, I now drink more water than Beer in a week.
(Yes, that's an achievement)
So that resolution, its safe to say, has been discarded faster than tickets to an Uday Chopra movie.
The other resolution, which I've so far kept, was involving studies.
You tell me, what could be worse than having failed five courses by the end of three semesters?
I don't know, how about having failed seven?
So that should give you a certain idea how much attention I pay towards studies.
If not, let's just say the amount of time I study everyday is equal to the amount of screen time Arjun Rampal gives to emotions in his movies.
Which is why I firmly resolved to study at least one subject everyday for two hours, no matter how far away the exams were.
As I mentioned before, I've kept this resolution so far, over the last two weeks and have successfully clocked in just a little over thirty hours studying English.
The third resolution I decided to trap myself with this year, is about my phone.
Everywhere I go, people tell me I'm extremely obsessed with my phone.
Which I firmly disagree with.
There are times and places where I don't use my phone because its just not appropriate to do so.
I may be using it right now to write this, but that's not a big deal, is it?
Wait, just give me a minute while I flush.
So.. where was I?
Okay, so maybe I'm a little attached to my phone.
But just cause I almost got hit by a Nano on a busy intersection while I replied to texts and updated my BBM status doesn't necessarily mean I'm addicted to my phone, right?
Now that I think of it, it would have been highly embarrassing had I really been killed that day. Dying in a car accident where one is hit by a Nano is a death as dignified as being a Britney Spears fan.
My fourth and final resolution took a while for me to come up with.
While writing this post the other day, I required more ideas, so I asked one of my closest friends to tell me some of my most blatant flaws.
"You flirt with EVERYONE", came her immediate response.
Now that's SO NOT TRUE.
I only flirt with people who have boobs. And that does not include man boobs, for those of you who thought that up and sniggered just now.
Also, I have a flirting age bracket which looks something like -
[Boobs Developed . . . . . . MILF]
See that?
Just around 12% of the world's population!
Not at all everyone.
But I do flirt a lot, I guess.
Mostly, its because I'm high and obsessed with my phone simultaneously.
Which results in texts such as 'I want sex. Now give me sex!' being sent to a friend, who then has a hard time convincing her mum how I'm not some kind of sexual predator.
And then there are other cons of flirting too much, like 'It wasn't meant for you' just not working as an explanation when you send the link to a porn video to a second cousin instead of that hot girl you were sexting.
So I'm cutting down on my flirting.
I will now only flirt with four girls a week.
Two really hot ones, a random girl and a fourth one with brains.
God, who am I kidding?
I live in Gurgaon.
Scrap that last one off the list.
I guess that's enough for this year, I already have four more resolutions than I managed to keep in 2011.
So let's drink to that while I burn all my textbooks and flirt with a dozen random girls on BBM!
Oh crap.
Well, here they are, anyways.
The first and most obvious thing that came to my mind and probably anyone else who's read this space before, is booze.
I drink too much, I've been told by friends, classmates, random people who've read my blog, Twitter followers who I've never met, my ex girlfriend, my parents, my ex girlfriend's friends, that girl I drank with once, my sister, my cousin, my ex girlfriend's cousin, that guy I drank with once, a doctor in an Emergency Room at 3am (though technically, since I'd passed out, this one doesn't count), batch mates from school, my friend's mum, my mum's friend..
Well, you get the point, right?
But how does one resolve to drink less?
Someone suggested I start collecting something, to keep my mind occupied.
I liked the idea so much, you're all welcome to come view my collection of Beer bottle caps, as it continues to grow everyday.
At least I'm happy to say I've succeeded in reducing my binging, I now drink more water than Beer in a week.
(Yes, that's an achievement)
So that resolution, its safe to say, has been discarded faster than tickets to an Uday Chopra movie.
The other resolution, which I've so far kept, was involving studies.
You tell me, what could be worse than having failed five courses by the end of three semesters?
I don't know, how about having failed seven?
So that should give you a certain idea how much attention I pay towards studies.
If not, let's just say the amount of time I study everyday is equal to the amount of screen time Arjun Rampal gives to emotions in his movies.
Which is why I firmly resolved to study at least one subject everyday for two hours, no matter how far away the exams were.
As I mentioned before, I've kept this resolution so far, over the last two weeks and have successfully clocked in just a little over thirty hours studying English.
The third resolution I decided to trap myself with this year, is about my phone.
Everywhere I go, people tell me I'm extremely obsessed with my phone.
Which I firmly disagree with.
There are times and places where I don't use my phone because its just not appropriate to do so.
I may be using it right now to write this, but that's not a big deal, is it?
Wait, just give me a minute while I flush.
So.. where was I?
Okay, so maybe I'm a little attached to my phone.
But just cause I almost got hit by a Nano on a busy intersection while I replied to texts and updated my BBM status doesn't necessarily mean I'm addicted to my phone, right?
Now that I think of it, it would have been highly embarrassing had I really been killed that day. Dying in a car accident where one is hit by a Nano is a death as dignified as being a Britney Spears fan.
My fourth and final resolution took a while for me to come up with.
While writing this post the other day, I required more ideas, so I asked one of my closest friends to tell me some of my most blatant flaws.
"You flirt with EVERYONE", came her immediate response.
Now that's SO NOT TRUE.
I only flirt with people who have boobs. And that does not include man boobs, for those of you who thought that up and sniggered just now.
Also, I have a flirting age bracket which looks something like -
[Boobs Developed . . . . . . MILF]
See that?
Just around 12% of the world's population!
Not at all everyone.
But I do flirt a lot, I guess.
Mostly, its because I'm high and obsessed with my phone simultaneously.
Which results in texts such as 'I want sex. Now give me sex!' being sent to a friend, who then has a hard time convincing her mum how I'm not some kind of sexual predator.
And then there are other cons of flirting too much, like 'It wasn't meant for you' just not working as an explanation when you send the link to a porn video to a second cousin instead of that hot girl you were sexting.
So I'm cutting down on my flirting.
I will now only flirt with four girls a week.
Two really hot ones, a random girl and a fourth one with brains.
God, who am I kidding?
I live in Gurgaon.
Scrap that last one off the list.
I guess that's enough for this year, I already have four more resolutions than I managed to keep in 2011.
So let's drink to that while I burn all my textbooks and flirt with a dozen random girls on BBM!
Oh crap.
Wednesday, 28 December 2011
Memory
Noises. Really loud noises.
Blinding flashes of light, followed by huge, vivid images on a wall.
The feeling that all these were dulled versions of what I would have actually experienced had my senses not deliberately been tampered with.
Earmuffs and a cap, I was told later, were what protected my fragile senses from an overload of external stimuli.
A roar resonated through the hall.
I heard a few screams. Funny, my yet underdeveloped mind thought, the noise was kind of soothing to my ears.
I drifted in and out of sleep, trying to figure out what was happening around me, but to no avail.
Everything but that wall was pitch black, darker than an endless abyss.
I gave up trying to fight back against sleep and was soon lost in the dream world, weaving through adventures, which now included bright lights and the occasional roar.
So I wrote this.
Then I asked my dad about it.
Apparently, when I was less than a year old, my parents took me along when they went to watch Jurassic Park.
Mr. Steven Spielberg, you helped shape my first memory ever.
Blinding flashes of light, followed by huge, vivid images on a wall.
The feeling that all these were dulled versions of what I would have actually experienced had my senses not deliberately been tampered with.
Earmuffs and a cap, I was told later, were what protected my fragile senses from an overload of external stimuli.
A roar resonated through the hall.
I heard a few screams. Funny, my yet underdeveloped mind thought, the noise was kind of soothing to my ears.
I drifted in and out of sleep, trying to figure out what was happening around me, but to no avail.
Everything but that wall was pitch black, darker than an endless abyss.
I gave up trying to fight back against sleep and was soon lost in the dream world, weaving through adventures, which now included bright lights and the occasional roar.
So I wrote this.
Then I asked my dad about it.
Apparently, when I was less than a year old, my parents took me along when they went to watch Jurassic Park.
Mr. Steven Spielberg, you helped shape my first memory ever.
Tuesday, 27 December 2011
Nostalgia Twenty Eleven
So its that time of the year again.
That wondrous time when everyone is happy, all hearts are filled with joy and I simply can't help but have a wide grin plastered across my face as I go around spreading merriment and cheer wherever I go!
Its discount time at the local liquor store!
Oh wait, no. Got my dates a little mixed up there.
Its the end of the year.
2011.
Brings to my mind as many wondrous memories as Oscar worthy movies by Mahesh Bhatt.
But then again, memories are memories, no matter how horrible, sad or filled with vomit they are.
So here I go, flipping through the pages of 2011, for your benefit!
(And my readership, obviously)
#1
A dead squirrel, found burning in the bonfire, has the potential to screw up a New Year's countdown.
#2
In Agra, the locals refer to the Yamuna simply as 'The Big Gutter'.
Funnily enough, its what my friends call me when I'm around booze.
#3
What kind of friend stops liking you just because you said you wouldn't hesitate before killing him?
Weird people, I tell you.
#4
When the heart's in love, the brain takes a sabbatical.
The penis, however, never takes an off.
#5
One must avoid laughing when being threatened by an unknown adversary.
Even if said adversary sounds like Justin Bieber on crack.
#6
Had to buy a pair of shoes. Checked out a thousand pair..
Of Boobs.
Then bought the shoes I'd seen a week before.
#7
Watching an Aamir Khan movie.
Watching an Aamir Khan movie after 10 shots of whiskey.
Same difference.
#8
Footballs are like boobs.
They're both round and I cant live without seeing either everyday.
#9
The LSR annual fest.
A collection of all the hot girls who'd never date me.
#10
My college thinks its cool to give me disturbing nightmares by making me be a part of the audience to a competition where guys take to the stage in their briefs and show off oiled, bronzed bodies.
#11
Random hot girl I've just been introduced to: I don't like drinking.
Me: *Mentally strike off a name from 'To Do list'*
#12
The best way to get a seat in the Metro, even if it works, probably does not involve throwing up in the middle of the Train.
#13
Mom - Where were you for the last six hours?
Me - *Runs to the bathroom to throw up*
Mom - Oh.
#14
How to tell your Football team is doomed.
Kicking the other team, not kicking the ball, is the game strategy.
#15
Everything beats the feeling of watching a Delhi-Hyderabad IPL match live.
Yep, you read that right.
#16
If you wear a hat that's five times bigger than your face to a cricket match, I will laugh at you, to your face.
Even if you're a ten year old girl.
#17
Jerking off, code named 'de-stressing', is my football team's choice of warm up exercise.
#18
Kingfisher Beer sucks.
#19
Three years into a relationship means one is expected to finish the other person's beer, no matter how warm and disgusting it now tastes.
#20
One fight is all it takes to drain the happiness out of my life.
#21
Exams fuck me whether I study or I don't.
Actually, I wouldn't know, never tried the former.
#22
Manchester United fans are royal cunts if they still think their team is any good.
PS. Viva La Barca!
#23
Thukpa.
Supposedly a northeastern delicacy.
In reality, its a shit load of bland noodles served in what tastes like water drained from a dishwasher.
#24
Vodka Capacity Discovered. Half a liter.
#25
If you think booze, fags and drugs give the best highs ever, you've never gazed at a million stars, lying down, in Bhimtal.
#26
A video discoverd from a drunken night which involves six people, all guys, is best left unseen.
#27
Baked a cake for Sanchi's birthday.
Surprisingly, the cake was perfect, not at all burnt.
Wish i could the say the same for the state of the hand blender after I used it.
#28
One liter of Whiskey.
Neat.
Whiskey capacity discovered.
Hospital Emergency Room discovered soon after.
#29
The Dry Resolution: I will never drink again.
#30
Friends are those people who, on your birthday, raise a beer each to you.
3 weeks after you've pledged to stay sober.
#31
Not drinking for six weeks is a world record.
No matter what you say.
#32
Beer + Photography = Epic Win.
Literally.
#33
Distance must be maintained from all drunk girls when one is in a relationship.
No matter how good your intentions, there is at least one camera out there that can make you look guilty as hell.
#34
Watching a movie titled 'Friends with Benefits' with a girl your girlfriend is not very fond of, is like taking a giant pair of shears and chopping your own balls off.
#35
'Breaks lead to breakups.'
- Me, 29th September
#36
I'm a Blackberry Boy. Fml.
#37
Happiness is an illusion.
Only those who believe in it can truly feel it.
I believed.
You didn't.
#38
Just got proven right about #35.
#39
Escapism is the worst way to deal with heartbreak.
#40
Depression is best cured with a bottle of Vodka. Or two.
#41
Wrote an article about how Kingfisher beer is the same as recycled puke from a Budweiser drinker.
Kingfisher then gave me two passes to the Pitbull concert.
Moral of the story: Spew shit, it works.
PS. Also, Vodka capacity upgraded to 1 litre.
#42
Never try your hand at Math after 10 shots of vodka.
A bill for 2800, split between 4 people and I end up paying my 'share' of 1200 bucks.
#43
Beer capacity discovered.
4.5 liters.
#44
Dancers dance naked in their rooms cause they like it raw. And I like watching football because I love it when guys play with balls.
- Sanjali Sharma
#45
Can lost love ever be found?
#46
Pussies love meat.
Cat lovers just nodded in agreement. People with minds like mine sniggered like mad.
#47
I just wrote all this. I have way too much time on my hands.
PS. This one was simply to help get me to #50 faster.
#48
Its impossible to control your laughter while getting suspicious looks from the guard checking your car as he sees four teenagers inside and one microwave in the boot!
#49
Consume enough Rum and you can fly!
Or at least glide for a second before you fall down in a heap.
#50
Happy New Beer everyone!
May 2012 give us another fifty things to talk about!
And more booze :D
That wondrous time when everyone is happy, all hearts are filled with joy and I simply can't help but have a wide grin plastered across my face as I go around spreading merriment and cheer wherever I go!
Its discount time at the local liquor store!
Oh wait, no. Got my dates a little mixed up there.
Its the end of the year.
2011.
Brings to my mind as many wondrous memories as Oscar worthy movies by Mahesh Bhatt.
But then again, memories are memories, no matter how horrible, sad or filled with vomit they are.
So here I go, flipping through the pages of 2011, for your benefit!
(And my readership, obviously)
#1
A dead squirrel, found burning in the bonfire, has the potential to screw up a New Year's countdown.
#2
In Agra, the locals refer to the Yamuna simply as 'The Big Gutter'.
Funnily enough, its what my friends call me when I'm around booze.
#3
What kind of friend stops liking you just because you said you wouldn't hesitate before killing him?
Weird people, I tell you.
#4
When the heart's in love, the brain takes a sabbatical.
The penis, however, never takes an off.
#5
One must avoid laughing when being threatened by an unknown adversary.
Even if said adversary sounds like Justin Bieber on crack.
#6
Had to buy a pair of shoes. Checked out a thousand pair..
Of Boobs.
Then bought the shoes I'd seen a week before.
#7
Watching an Aamir Khan movie.
Watching an Aamir Khan movie after 10 shots of whiskey.
Same difference.
#8
Footballs are like boobs.
They're both round and I cant live without seeing either everyday.
#9
The LSR annual fest.
A collection of all the hot girls who'd never date me.
#10
My college thinks its cool to give me disturbing nightmares by making me be a part of the audience to a competition where guys take to the stage in their briefs and show off oiled, bronzed bodies.
#11
Random hot girl I've just been introduced to: I don't like drinking.
Me: *Mentally strike off a name from 'To Do list'*
#12
The best way to get a seat in the Metro, even if it works, probably does not involve throwing up in the middle of the Train.
#13
Mom - Where were you for the last six hours?
Me - *Runs to the bathroom to throw up*
Mom - Oh.
#14
How to tell your Football team is doomed.
Kicking the other team, not kicking the ball, is the game strategy.
#15
Everything beats the feeling of watching a Delhi-Hyderabad IPL match live.
Yep, you read that right.
#16
If you wear a hat that's five times bigger than your face to a cricket match, I will laugh at you, to your face.
Even if you're a ten year old girl.
#17
Jerking off, code named 'de-stressing', is my football team's choice of warm up exercise.
#18
Kingfisher Beer sucks.
#19
Three years into a relationship means one is expected to finish the other person's beer, no matter how warm and disgusting it now tastes.
#20
One fight is all it takes to drain the happiness out of my life.
#21
Exams fuck me whether I study or I don't.
Actually, I wouldn't know, never tried the former.
#22
Manchester United fans are royal cunts if they still think their team is any good.
PS. Viva La Barca!
#23
Thukpa.
Supposedly a northeastern delicacy.
In reality, its a shit load of bland noodles served in what tastes like water drained from a dishwasher.
#24
Vodka Capacity Discovered. Half a liter.
#25
If you think booze, fags and drugs give the best highs ever, you've never gazed at a million stars, lying down, in Bhimtal.
#26
A video discoverd from a drunken night which involves six people, all guys, is best left unseen.
#27
Baked a cake for Sanchi's birthday.
Surprisingly, the cake was perfect, not at all burnt.
Wish i could the say the same for the state of the hand blender after I used it.
#28
One liter of Whiskey.
Neat.
Whiskey capacity discovered.
Hospital Emergency Room discovered soon after.
#29
The Dry Resolution: I will never drink again.
#30
Friends are those people who, on your birthday, raise a beer each to you.
3 weeks after you've pledged to stay sober.
#31
Not drinking for six weeks is a world record.
No matter what you say.
#32
Beer + Photography = Epic Win.
Literally.
#33
Distance must be maintained from all drunk girls when one is in a relationship.
No matter how good your intentions, there is at least one camera out there that can make you look guilty as hell.
#34
Watching a movie titled 'Friends with Benefits' with a girl your girlfriend is not very fond of, is like taking a giant pair of shears and chopping your own balls off.
#35
'Breaks lead to breakups.'
- Me, 29th September
#36
I'm a Blackberry Boy. Fml.
#37
Happiness is an illusion.
Only those who believe in it can truly feel it.
I believed.
You didn't.
#38
Just got proven right about #35.
#39
Escapism is the worst way to deal with heartbreak.
#40
Depression is best cured with a bottle of Vodka. Or two.
#41
Wrote an article about how Kingfisher beer is the same as recycled puke from a Budweiser drinker.
Kingfisher then gave me two passes to the Pitbull concert.
Moral of the story: Spew shit, it works.
PS. Also, Vodka capacity upgraded to 1 litre.
#42
Never try your hand at Math after 10 shots of vodka.
A bill for 2800, split between 4 people and I end up paying my 'share' of 1200 bucks.
#43
Beer capacity discovered.
4.5 liters.
#44
Dancers dance naked in their rooms cause they like it raw. And I like watching football because I love it when guys play with balls.
- Sanjali Sharma
#45
Can lost love ever be found?
#46
Pussies love meat.
Cat lovers just nodded in agreement. People with minds like mine sniggered like mad.
#47
I just wrote all this. I have way too much time on my hands.
PS. This one was simply to help get me to #50 faster.
#48
Its impossible to control your laughter while getting suspicious looks from the guard checking your car as he sees four teenagers inside and one microwave in the boot!
#49
Consume enough Rum and you can fly!
Or at least glide for a second before you fall down in a heap.
#50
Happy New Beer everyone!
May 2012 give us another fifty things to talk about!
And more booze :D
Sunday, 11 December 2011
I'm sorry Zuck, but it sure does Suck
Statutory Warning: NOT reading my blog can be injurious to your health and will lead to a rather slow, painful death at the hands of Aamir Khan.
Not only will he kill you, he'll keep you waiting, in suspense, for two years, while he plans exactly how he'll kill you. And then probably finish you off on Christmas eve.
So I got an Application request on Facebook last night. Here's what it looked like.
Okay, so maybe that last part was just in my head. But seriously, everytime I see one of these, i can't help thinking to myself- Not another one of those god awful application requests that, even though may claim to be nothing more than an App to send virtual Teddy Bears to your friends, may have just as much chances of spamming your entire friend list with semi-porn!
Long, long ago, in a galaxy far, far away...
Damn, I swear it sounded way cooler in my head.
Anyways, till a couple of years ago, Facebook used to be such a joy to scroll through, making it so much easier for me to stalk..err.. connect with all my friends on Facebook.
But now?
It looks like my study table, filled with crap that doesn't belong there, while everything that should be on it, lies at the very edges, threatening to fall right off at any moment.
I mean every single time I log onto Facebook now, why do I have to be visually assaulted with hundred tidbits of information that don't give two hoots about, while the tiny shred of a detail that I actually care about gets lost in the crowd, somewhat like that really hot Russian chick in that Akshay Kumar song?
What I don't understand is, what are they trying, really?
Facebook now looks like a rather pathetic, ugly and useless networking site where meaningless viral spam is as common as genuine status updates.
Orkut, I'd say, if I was asked to sum that up.
All I'd end with, I guess, is a few words from one genius who turned into a person who now regularly fills shits onto other people's web pages, to another- At least people come to my site, Zuckerburg!
Oh wait. Damn.
Ps. While you're at it, umm.. mind sharing this on Facebook?
Not only will he kill you, he'll keep you waiting, in suspense, for two years, while he plans exactly how he'll kill you. And then probably finish you off on Christmas eve.
So I got an Application request on Facebook last night. Here's what it looked like.
Okay, so maybe that last part was just in my head. But seriously, everytime I see one of these, i can't help thinking to myself- Not another one of those god awful application requests that, even though may claim to be nothing more than an App to send virtual Teddy Bears to your friends, may have just as much chances of spamming your entire friend list with semi-porn!
Long, long ago, in a galaxy far, far away...
Damn, I swear it sounded way cooler in my head.
Anyways, till a couple of years ago, Facebook used to be such a joy to scroll through, making it so much easier for me to stalk..err.. connect with all my friends on Facebook.
But now?
It looks like my study table, filled with crap that doesn't belong there, while everything that should be on it, lies at the very edges, threatening to fall right off at any moment.
I mean every single time I log onto Facebook now, why do I have to be visually assaulted with hundred tidbits of information that don't give two hoots about, while the tiny shred of a detail that I actually care about gets lost in the crowd, somewhat like that really hot Russian chick in that Akshay Kumar song?
What I don't understand is, what are they trying, really?
Facebook now looks like a rather pathetic, ugly and useless networking site where meaningless viral spam is as common as genuine status updates.
Orkut, I'd say, if I was asked to sum that up.
All I'd end with, I guess, is a few words from one genius who turned into a person who now regularly fills shits onto other people's web pages, to another- At least people come to my site, Zuckerburg!
Oh wait. Damn.
Ps. While you're at it, umm.. mind sharing this on Facebook?
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